Friday, December 5, 2014

The Hat from ****

If you are a knitter, you will know exactly why I am so exasperated today!

My daughter asked me to knit her a new hat for Christmas this year-- so of course I obliged. I love knitting for her-- and I love that she loves for me to do it-- especially since she is 18 and away at college!

I had just finished knitting an old Fiber Trends Felted Slipper pattern (at the request of my oldest son) and decided that I would wait to knit the second  pair (requested by my youngest son) until after I finished this very, very, EASY-to-knit, cabled hat.
"Why not get that done first since it's so easy?" I thought to myself.
About now you should be sensing the knitting drama that has unfolded this week.

I found some lovely Blue Sky Alpaca Sport Weight yarn in my stash. Doubled, it should just about give me the right gauge for the Interweave Knits pattern that I downloaded onto my ipad. Two of the skeins had already been wound into balls.
"This is gonna take like a day!" I say to myself.
Then I sit down in front of the big screen- with the Roku- and find an interesting series by which to knit. Masterpiece Contemporary from the BBC strikes my fancy. Benedict Cumberbatch is the lead role in this older drama. "Yes," I think to myself. "Benedict Cumberbatch. That is the one to knit by. He's pretty easy on both the ears and the eyes." As knitting requires one to look away from the TV a great deal, this seemed to fit my needs quite well.

And so it began. Cast on 80 stitches. Divide amongst four needles. Join and Do NOT Twist. Check.
Knit 8 rounds of 2/2 rib. Begin charted row 1. Knit Charted rows 1-4  five times before beginning decreases. All easy enough.

'Oh look, there's Benedict Cumberbatch."

"Hmm this show is about some weird futuristic data collection with people. I am not really understanding. Oh now people are dying. Wait-- why is Benedict Cumberbatch being naughty with his recently dead brother's widow?"

"Oh-- look at my pattern. Why is my pattern wrong in 5 of the 8 repeats. I had better rip back."

So this went on for two nights. Knit forward, Rip Back. The pattern should have added this caveat for ME apparently. And it clearly didn't say: "Please don't take your eyes off of the ipad for so long that it goes black and you have to stop knitting-- to put the chart back into your viewing area-- while you are still trying to knit AND see why Benedict Cumberbatch is running down a hallway." It didn't, but it should have.

So after two nights of knitting my one evening hat, I ripped back ALL five repeats to the beginning ribbing and began again. Two hours later, at 1am, I had finally successfully knit two rounds of the cable pattern's FIRST repeat.

I know.
I suppose I should mention that I also FORGOT about the large pile of two-strand yarn that sits precariously on top of the CORGI--sitting beneath me, near the couch. She was lying there, sleeping, while I ripped back 20 rounds. That's right. The dog is asleep under my pile of ripped out yarn.

And it is time for bed. I don't mention the pile earlier, because frankly, I didn't know the dog was sitting there. Or I forgot. I click the TV remote, the TV makes a sound as it turns off, and the dog jumps (as she always does) to run upstairs- so that we cannot put her in her kennel for bedtime.

I watch as my knitting needles start chasing the dog-- and my pile of yarn-- across the family room floor. I do what any sane person would do at this point-- I scream at the dog. (Clearly she should know that she is wearing my project and behave completely differently tonight.) All the while my husband is laughing, doubled-over, as he has been witness to all of the ripping back, swearing, and stress of this one night project. No wonder I can't get  him to take up knitting.

But it all turns out okay. Or at least it is all at a point where I can stop and start again tomorrow. At this point the yarn is safely piled on top of the arm of the couch and the project sits on the foot stool. Now my only issues are that I cannot possible take the project anywhere, as the yarn would become hopelessly tangled, and the fact that I am going to have to knit FASTER now, as my Christmas projects are piling up and time is ticking. It is only 20 days to Christmas now.

But I know this will only take ONE night now. You see, I am done with the Benedict Cumberbatch series. Now I will put on something I have seen a thousand times, like Pride and Prejudice. Something I can listen to without looking up, because I know it so well.... Except for that one scene that is....the one where Mr Darcy comes in to apologize and gives her the letter......and the other, where she walks around Pemberly in shock of what could have been hers.....and the end, where he walks over the hill in the sunrise and he proposes....

Oh I guess I had better be prepared to keep ripping......

A one night Hat indeed.